I took this
online quiz to determine my parenting style -- here are the results:
When it comes to shaping character, I am
Specific: "Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best."
When it comes to making rules, I am
A Benevolent Ruler: "When it comes to setting rules and expectations with your kids, you're sort of a benevolent dictator – in the nicest way. When you know what's best for them, there's no need to discuss your decisions. But when it's appropriate, you're happy to take a more democratic approach and let your kids have their say. This kind of combination of firmness and fairness means that you can have open discussions with your children while still being able to assert your authority when it matters."
When it comes to enforcing discipline, I am
Firm but Fair: "You're firm, but fair. In general, you take an assertive approach to discipline. You think it's best, since being direct lets kids know what's expected of them. At the same time, parents like you indicated that children should be allowed some room to be free and explore; you're happy for your kids to experiment and take chances (within reason), as long as they respect and obey their parents. There's no purpose served by being overly strict."
I think this is a pretty accurate assessment. I definitely have rules (no standing up in the bathtub!) and I am very consistent in the enforcement of the rules and refuse to give an inch on these rules (ask Becky, she saw how many times I made Ben sit down when he stood up in the bathtub!). I don't know how I'll actually be when they get older, but at this point, I like to think that I will offer them firm guidance but let them make their own decisions. My mom always stressed to me that children need limits and need to know the expectations of their parents, and I want to provide Sam and Ben with this same sense of security that I felt growing up.
When it comes to shaping character, I am Specific: "Whether you're an earth mother or a PTA president (or both!), you're very concerned with setting specific expectations for your kids' behavior. You do this both by telling them what to do and acting as a role model, and, in general, you expect them to follow your careful guidance. As a parent, you think you should be very actively involved in fostering your children's growth, which includes determining what activities they should engage in – sports, tutoring, music, chores, art, yoga, whatever. When it comes to everything from family meals to manners and morals, you know what's best."
When it comes to making rules, I am A Benevolent Ruler: "When it comes to setting rules and expectations with your kids, you're sort of a benevolent dictator – in the nicest way. When you know what's best for them, there's no need to discuss your decisions. But when it's appropriate, you're happy to take a more democratic approach and let your kids have their say. This kind of combination of firmness and fairness means that you can have open discussions with your children while still being able to assert your authority when it matters."
When it comes to enforcing discipline, I am Firm but Fair: "You're firm, but fair. In general, you take an assertive approach to discipline. You think it's best, since being direct lets kids know what's expected of them. At the same time, parents like you indicated that children should be allowed some room to be free and explore; you're happy for your kids to experiment and take chances (within reason), as long as they respect and obey their parents. There's no purpose served by being overly strict."
I think this is a pretty accurate assessment. I definitely have rules (no standing up in the bathtub!) and I am very consistent in the enforcement of the rules and refuse to give an inch on these rules (ask Becky, she saw how many times I made Ben sit down when he stood up in the bathtub!). I don't know how I'll actually be when they get older, but at this point, I like to think that I will offer them firm guidance but let them make their own decisions. My mom always stressed to me that children need limits and need to know the expectations of their parents, and I want to provide Sam and Ben with this same sense of security that I felt growing up.
5 comments:
I totally have followed your lead on the bathtub thing! Colin wasn't trying to stand up in the tub when we were there but he is now. I really didn't think he would understand me but he totally does. Now I can even get him to sit down in his crib for story time and he knows what I mean. It is awesome. I'm so glad I saw you do it first or I might have missed the opportunity thinking he was too young to 'get it'.
Btw: I got all the same results but found the quiz highly frustrating. I kept thinking.. this totally depends on the age and the issue, I can't make a blanket decision about this!
I completely agree that consistency is key. When I was teaching, the students knew I always meant what I said. It frustrates me when I see a child repeatedly test his/her parents until they give in! Kids learn very quickly that they will eventually get what they want in the end if they try hard enough. I think that if you set up clear expectations early on, you can avoid defiant/difficult behaviors later in life. My baby already has a "timeout" spot....poor thing.
I just took the quiz and I am the same in the 1st 2 categories as you girls. But in the discipline category I am strict. I guess that matches my comment about the time out spot:) I agree with Becky, I think that some of the questions depend on the child's age and situation. Although, I promise I will not ground my daughter as much as I was!
Erin, both the boys hair looks lighter in these pictures. Colin's hair is looking lighter these days too.. do you think it is the sun?
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