One of my friends, who has identical twin boys, commented the other day about the physical intimacy of her boys -- how they can cuddle together for long stretches of time that no two other people would want to tolerate. And I started thinking about Sam and Ben, and how true this is of their relationship. They fight and argue and can be the other's worst enemy -- but they also spend big chunks of their day in a close physical proximity with the other -- a closeness I've certainly never witnessed among other siblings. 
This made me think -- about how the boys have had, for their entire lives -- from conception to this day today -- a close, physical proximity to the other. They shared a uterus, and we witnessed in many sonograms the kicking, touching, physical-ness of their relationship. They shared a crib for the first 6 months of their lives. They have shared my lap for their entire lives. They share a room, the backseat of the car (rear-facing, so they only have each other back there!), their toys, etc., etc., etc.
I wonder how much of this physical intimacy that they share with the other is based on circumstances (that they have simply always had to share) and how much is based on the science of twinhood. I have to think at least part of it has to do with the special bond that twins appear to share -- because why else would so many NICUs place twins in the same isolette, recognizing the importance of the relationship? Any thoughts from you biology people?This is the photo that made me start thinking about this -- the boys were cuddled together in Sam's bed!
I heard the boys giggling -- and went to see what they were doing. They stayed like this for a really long time.
The bird's eye view of my lap.
3 comments:
I think it's great that they've had a built in best friend since conception. Hopefully that bond stays with them through adulthood. They are so adorable.
My best guess from a scientific perspective is just based on desensitization. Similar to how people who grow up in touchy feel families are more comfortable with affection than people who don't. These boys have been touching each other throughout their entire existence and therefore it is their baseline. In fact I would bet if you monitored them there is probably some baseline of touch that they will maintain whenever possible. Do you notice if they are more touchy after being separated or first thing in the morning. Although I bet they could fill that void with touch from YOU as well as each other. SO you notice them being more clingy with you while they are separated? I wonder if anyone has studied it to see if twins are more affectionately touchy to their spouses in adulthood.. although I imagine by adulthood the effects could have been decreased.
I do wonder if there is more of a bond than siblings of other ages because there is less competition for wanting what they have. For example, if Sam was in a big boy bed but Ben was younger and had to stay in a crib, it may start to create less sameness if that makes sense.
The boys get to experience so many things at the same time or go through life things (i.e. change into big boy beds...only example I can think of I guess) at the same time so that they can share so many things rather than being envious of the other.
I am sure there is a lot of competition and envy that goes on but it seems that some of it from being the same age may be cut out (but I am sure that also creates others that different age siblings don't have).
I do though not see any bond of a twin kind between Brandon and his sister at all. They are just like typical siblings---little bond and lots of arguing so perhaps it is same sex, even if fraternal, that have a higher/better bond that boy/girl twins.
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