Quiet week

Last week was so challenging. After Monday and Ben's high fever, we kept them home on Tuesday (because Ben could not return to daycare for 24 hours) and paid a sitter to stay with them for a chunk of the day. The boys were back to school on Wednesday. And on Wednesday afternoon, I got the call again from daycare. Ben has a high fever. Come pick him up immediately. So I did. When I walked in the door of the daycare, I saw Ben sitting on the couch with his teacher, tears streaming down his face, asking where was his mommy. My heart was in my throat, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying. My poor, poor little boy -- he was incredibly sick. Unfortunately, by the time I got us all out to the car, the pediatrician's office was closed for the day, so I brought the boys home, dosed Ben with some ibuprofen, and held him for most of the night. It was a long night -- because Sam decided to be awake all night, crying that his ear hurt. As soon as the pediatrician's office opened on Thursday, I was on the phone making an appointment. And when I brought the boys in, Sam had a double ear infection (wow, shocking, he got a double ear infection with the first cold he's had since his tubes fell out several months ago...) -- and poor Ben has pneumonia. I dropped of the prescription, swung through the drive-thru to get the boys each a milkshake (neither had eaten anything in several days, and Ben's mouth was full of blisters from some non-related viral infection -- probably the very virus that caused the cold in the first place). When we went back to the pharmacy drive-thru, the pharmacist informed me that the prescription card wasn't up to date -- our insurance changed at the beginning of February, and the new cards haven't been delivered yet -- so I told her I would just pay for it. Riiiight -- $150 for 10 days of antibiotics (because the boys are allergic to the easy antibiotics). Times 2. Hope that is reimbursable from the insurance company! I brought the boys home, gave them their medicines, snuggled them on the couch with "Blue's Clues," and called the sitter. I felt horribly about leaving my two sick babies, but I knew they would sleep most of the day, and I had things I had to finish at work.

And this week? No pneumonia. No ear infections. No snow days. How is that possible, you ask?? The boys are spending the week at Mimi's house! My parents came to visit last Friday to watch the boys for the daycare holiday (Lincoln's birthday, of course), and the Husband and I decided to send the boys back to my parents' house for the week. We were supposed to have a very, very busy week between work and personal obligations (the Husband's father was scheduled to have open-heart surgery), and there was no way I could handle being called away from work on 4 consecutive days to deal with illnesses. My bosses have been wonderful - but I worry about pushing them too far!

I miss the boys so much, of course. My days are so quiet, and I wonder what they are doing. But, that being said, this is the first time since they've been born that I've actually had any amount of time to myself. The boys went to my parents' house for 3 days during the summer of '09 when I was taking 9 summer credits and had classes on certain days from 9am to 9pm. The boys also went to my parents' house last February for 12 days when I was taking the Bar. But during that time, I was so busy studying, I had no time for anything but studying.

This week has given me a bit of time to breathe. To take a minute to sit and think. To sit in silence. Last night, I met my friends from law school for dinner. And we sat at dinner for 3 hours, and I didn't feel guilty about missing bedtime, or tucking the boys in, or making sure they had brushed their teeth. Today, I had a very hectic day at work and didn't get home until 7pm -- and it was a relief to know that I could stay at work for those extra few hours to make sure the hugely important court documents got finished. Perhaps it is pathetic that my "vacation" has been having a week when I "only" have to go to work (and "only" have to deal with this sinus infection -- but thankfully, when I filled the prescription, the insurance cards had arrived!) -- but it has been so refreshing to have a few days to really focus on me, to do the things I need to do (like going to the dry cleaner), and to have no worries but myself.

That being said, I am so ready for my "vacation" to be over. The boys will be back on Sunday, and I miss them so much. I talk to the boys every night, and their little voices make me so sad that I can't hug them and kiss them and tuck them in! I guess this past week has been a good reminder that I need balance in my life, too -- that being Mommy and Attorney and totally forgetting about being Erin is not going to be a healthy thing for me. And now comes the challenge of figuring out that balance!

** Wonder what the boys are doing in the above picture? The boys are obsessed with cleaning Mimi's house, and often tell her, "This place is disgusting!" (It isn't!) They apparently used flashlights to find all the dust under her bed ... I can't believe how big they look in the picture. What happened to my rolly-poly babies?