March 6

Here we are, at this anniversary once again. My parents are taking the boys for the week (seeing they are still sick!), and as I was driving back home from our half-way meeting point, I glanced at the clock -- and was reminded of where I was 3 years ago at that very moment. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I thought about how grateful I am to have my boys in my life, and just how scared we were on this day.

Reading my post, I also realize how far I've come in "healing" from the PTSD I'm fairly confident I experienced after the boys' birth. I still feel badly that I didn't carry the boys full-term, but I try to focus on the fact that I did get them to 32 weeks, that my OB laughed at my 6-week check-up and told me he had never seen a woman will herself out of labor until he saw me that weekend -- and while that probably isn't true, I can now look back on these scary few weeks and realize I did all I could do for the boys.

My thoughts on this day last year